Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
