Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize