i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
