the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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