shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
