dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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