I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
