Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
