Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
