Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
