It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
