He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
