white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
