Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
