I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
