Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
