he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
