great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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