I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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