i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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