Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
