So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A+ Viking dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
