i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize