i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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