when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
