She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
