Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
