how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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