Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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