Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
