actually, I'm a sock model
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
