I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
