Non-Jews are for practice
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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