I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
