I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
