She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize