If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
