You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
