Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
