at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize
