please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
