trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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