I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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