i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
