Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
