Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
