Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You are the jesus of drinking
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
