In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
