Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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