spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
