The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
