We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
