He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
