she was so not down for the gang bang
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
