but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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