I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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