He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
