Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize