Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
