This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
