um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
