i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
