I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
