Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
